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Thursday, December 12, 2013
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Umbrellas
THEY DON'T WORK!
We don't really feel that much explanation is needed here. Umbrellas suck and everyone knows it.
Umbrellas that actually work are huge and expensive, which are the only the two things you don't want from a portable device that gets easily lost or taken.
In a utopia the ideal umbrella is compact and easily replaced, however in reality these pieces of crap don't actually do anything against water.
Small cheap umbrellas are great when there is a chance of rain that never actually comes. This way you can easily carry around this lightweight protective device, and if you forget it on the bus... no worries, you can afford to buy a new one. Sadly if enough water vapor condenses and it actually rains, tough shit you are going to get soaked.
And although everyone knows it to be true, we still all carry around umbrellas like a bunch of white racists.
Who knows what racists actually have to do with this, it just seems like a good policy that if something is as shitty as an umbrella than blame it on a racist.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglET1NQqg_055bAcyQZnC7DPCKUc0tkw2qYhNZsJC6uo7sMmfL1zwP8cM3jIQnL8_-22gGP7aTGFPLyVj8t3NnGXJAiiS07rGnKZB90li__lGWdrjt26B3PTOiFgYvmvEP_7cDKD4f644/s320/051810umbrella1_512x288.jpg)
Dear Umbrellas,
Your are only good for the transportation of magical nanny's. Gene Kelly didn't need you and neither do we!
Sincerely,
Go poop yourself, and we are against you!
We don't really feel that much explanation is needed here. Umbrellas suck and everyone knows it.
Umbrellas that actually work are huge and expensive, which are the only the two things you don't want from a portable device that gets easily lost or taken.
In a utopia the ideal umbrella is compact and easily replaced, however in reality these pieces of crap don't actually do anything against water.
Small cheap umbrellas are great when there is a chance of rain that never actually comes. This way you can easily carry around this lightweight protective device, and if you forget it on the bus... no worries, you can afford to buy a new one. Sadly if enough water vapor condenses and it actually rains, tough shit you are going to get soaked.
And although everyone knows it to be true, we still all carry around umbrellas like a bunch of white racists.
Who knows what racists actually have to do with this, it just seems like a good policy that if something is as shitty as an umbrella than blame it on a racist.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglET1NQqg_055bAcyQZnC7DPCKUc0tkw2qYhNZsJC6uo7sMmfL1zwP8cM3jIQnL8_-22gGP7aTGFPLyVj8t3NnGXJAiiS07rGnKZB90li__lGWdrjt26B3PTOiFgYvmvEP_7cDKD4f644/s320/051810umbrella1_512x288.jpg)
Dear Umbrellas,
Your are only good for the transportation of magical nanny's. Gene Kelly didn't need you and neither do we!
Sincerely,
Go poop yourself, and we are against you!
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