Thomas the Tank Engine

Just Joshing Folks!!!

We love Thomas and all his shinning time station pals! Who could be against them? 

Here is one of our favorite clips from the beloved Shining Time Station television series. No comments needed.. this stuff is just pure gold! 

Umbrellas

THEY DON'T WORK!

We don't really feel that much explanation is needed here. Umbrellas suck and everyone knows it.

Umbrellas that actually work are huge and expensive, which are the only the two things you don't want from a portable device that gets easily lost or taken.

In a utopia the ideal umbrella is compact and easily replaced, however in reality these pieces of crap don't actually do anything against water.

Small cheap umbrellas are great when there is a chance of rain that never actually comes. This way you can easily carry around this lightweight protective device, and if you forget it on the bus... no worries, you can afford to buy a new one. Sadly if enough water vapor condenses and it actually rains, tough shit you are going to get soaked.

And although everyone knows it to be true, we still all carry around  umbrellas like a bunch of white racists.

Who knows what racists actually have to do with this, it just seems like a good policy that if something is as shitty as an umbrella than blame it on a racist.



Dear Umbrellas,
                        Your are only good for the transportation of magical nanny's. Gene Kelly didn't need you and neither do we!

Sincerely,
              Go poop yourself, and we are against you!

Vaginas

It's been a long time, we shouldn't have left you without a dope post to step to...

Ten monopoly dollars to anyone who can name that reference????

We here at -  Jews, Catholics, Atheists & Gays Against..

Have decided to take a break from our norm of being against everything, and have decided to be for something on this very special return blog debut. 

Yes we realize saying "return blog debut" makes no sense, but we are probably against you and your opinion hardly matters to us. 

However, we feel we can all put our differences aside for this very special moment, a moment we like to call - Vagina Time.

Vaginas are wonderful!  Sure they smell a bit funny, and they look a bit weird, but they seem to make a lot of people very happy.  It is our observation that with over 3 billion vaginas currently living in this world there still never seem to be quite enough of them to go around. 

Vagina Time is simply a time when a person(or persons) sits and takes a moment to think about all the vaginas in their life.  Think about all the vaginas that you know and love, and think about all the vaginas that are important to you. 

Now, some people may critique and ask.

     "What about all those women to whom these vaginas belong?" 

Well the truth is we don't care about those women. We do not like women, we do not support women, we would go as far as to say as we are actually against women. 

In fact, in order to be safe we will be against men as well, we are against everyone.  

Accept vaginas - we love vaginas. 

Obviously due to adult censorship we cannot post a pictures of real vaginas, but we have posted a few funny pictures of things that look like vaginas. ENJOY!

 1> SIDEWAYS EYE
 2> OYSTER
 3> VERY LARGE SHELL
 4> SOME DUDES ARMPIT

WHITE-OUT

You think you are making it look better and really you never are.

 You always write on it too soon, or put too much, or it gets dried out in the bottle and it ends up looking like a birds poopie.

Then they invented that roll on stuff that works so well the first few times; and when it works you feel so good, but eventually that little paper starts to unravel and you lose control. 

In the end you have more white stripes on your hands than anywhere else, you’re cursing like Emily’s Tye mom after the Conservatives won the election, and the bloody thing that cost $5.99 at the office depot is in the garbage.  

We really are sorry White-Out but you have ruined enough 5^th grade I.S.Us’ for one lifetime and we are against you.

X-RAYS & XYLOPHONES

 

X-ray and xylophone are the only two words we know that begin with X.

Yes it is true, we do have an alphabetical order theme. 

It helps us remember all the things we don't like. 

But honestly a magic camera that can see inside your body??? 

Sounds like government brain washing to us. 

And do you know a single person besides babies that plays the xylophone? 

We don't! 

And babies can't  speak and poop in their pants.   

sooooooo.....

Actually we are against all things that begin with the letter X.

It reminds us of pirates and we are against it. 

PS.  We did post that picture of the penguin x-ray intentionally. We are against penguins as well. What kind of bird can't fly?

YO-YOS

Toys and physics just don't mix. 

Like what the heck man!

Yo-yos are inexpensive, are not battery operated, and there is no app for it on our I-phones. 

BBBBBOOOORRRRIIIINNNGGG!!! 

And how do they work anyways? Does anyone know ? 

Doubt it! 

In our opinion yo-yos are just crazy caveman toys created by witchcraft and we are against them.

ZEBRAS

WHAT?!!?? Are you serious Mr. Zebra? Why on earth are you dressed like that?? 

WE CAN SEE YOU!

Why not try a nice auburn, or caramel color? Don’t you think you would be a little safer?

“Oh hey Mrs. Lion” 

“I just put on this ridiculous black and white striped crazy suit, so you would be able to see me from miles away. Also I dressed my children and all my entire family in the same thing just in case. I think the black and white will look great with a splash of blood. Would you mind terribly coming over here and eating me?”

Oh you silly zebras!

In our opinion Zebras are nothing more than horses on a suicide mission, and we are against them.